[personal profile] ladycaviar
Today, the weather was nice, if a bit wet, and The Z chose to do his Mighty Panther impression in the enclosed backyard as he is often wont to do.

It's funnier to watch when the grass is wet, because he will carefully lift each paw to minimize the icky damp contact, and he won't stalk the grass as low as he does when it's dry so his Predator Belly doesn't get drippy. But The Mighty Panther does his rounds in the Backyard Veldt, taunting the dogs with his Catly Aromas, which waft through the fence and drive the Evil Dog Things insane -- much to the amusement of The Z.

MrZ attacks the grass with his four remaining teeth, all Siamese fangs, until he's got enough to barf back up, whereupon he prefers to return to the house to deposit said barf offerings inside on the clean tile. Just one of his quirks. Because barfing outside is Icky, you see. I think cleaning up barf is Icky, but I don't get a lot of say in this... The Z's system is The Z's system and I am merely his servant. *sigh*

Apparently, going potty outside is also out of the question. I'm not sure why. Perhaps since we don't go potty in the backyard, he won't either. Perhaps he just doesn't like anyone watching. In any case, MrZ returns inside every time. Strange cat. I didn't really think much of it today.

Until we heard a different repeating "mao" than we'd heard before. A LOUD MAO. When we looked at Z, he was wearing cement shoes. It seems that soggy paws and scoop litter is a Mafia hit on a cat.

Poor muffin. Nobody likes being cuddled in a towel by your Mama who's laughing so hard she can hardly clean your paws right. Mao! Mao! How can something so poignantly sad be so hilarious? The trauma... oh god I think I hurt my pancreas... ahahahhaahha

Date: 2009-04-28 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torin3.livejournal.com
Poor, POOR Mr. Z! The indignity! Oh the felinity!

Date: 2009-04-28 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dishapeaches.livejournal.com
LOL! It never occurred to me what wet paws in the clumping kind of litter would do. Poor guy.

Date: 2009-04-28 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyrakai.livejournal.com
I'd feel sorry for the poor dear if I could stop laughing long enough to do so.

Date: 2009-04-28 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stitchwhich.livejournal.com
What she said. *giggling*

Date: 2009-04-28 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-zrfq.livejournal.com
Thirded. *snrk*

Date: 2009-04-28 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yaminagdh.livejournal.com
Maybe it was the Society if Evil Geniuses trying to get rid of him because he knows too much and they think you're on to him?

Date: 2009-04-28 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windsingerbard.livejournal.com
different repeating "mao" than we'd heard before. A LOUD MAO.

Why is this mao different from all other mao's? XD At some point in his long life, Mr. Z seems to have swallowed an electronic megaphone. With wonky wiring.

When he was young, Mr. Big Black Cat used to have the same complex about relieving himself outside. He'd be happily puttering around the backyard, then freeze, look panicked: "uh oh!" and zzzzzzzzzzzoooom back into the house, knocking over any food-monkey unfortunate enough to be in his path.

(Now it seems to be his preference. We swear he "holds it" all night, just so as to combine it with his morning constitutional...)

Date: 2009-04-28 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melvh.livejournal.com
Oh... the poor Mr.Z...(chuckle)...to have such nasty...(chuckle, laugh)...horrible stuff stuck to his feet...(guffaw)...and have to rely on the human servant to clean it off...(grab gut, fall down)...My sympathies go out to him...(snerk)

Date: 2009-04-28 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isenglass.livejournal.com
Hell, I think you hurt MY pancreas!!!

Date: 2009-04-28 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shoesonwrong.livejournal.com
God, I wish my cats would do something awesome like that. But we live in the city, and so when they DO get the chance to get outside once in a great while when we visit my parents, it goes like this.

DEAR GOD I'M OUTDOORS

(Uh, this is the second time I posted this because the first picture I grabbed the code for was GINORMOUSLY HUMONGOUSLY EXTRAVAGANTLY HUGE and ate the page).

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