such a tool

I put the porn in your chair," torin3  said.

Oh goody, a tool catalog! I'd just talked to my refiner not half an hour ago, and I have silver coming. Metal prices suck, but now's the right time to turn back scrap, and I have. Let's see, what do we have here... mmm, pneumatic planishing hammers, small and large... I fantasize about the silver holloware possibilities... kinda small in the other hammer selections, although they're cheap enough for me to grind to custom shapes if I want, that's nice...

[makes me think of my hammer rant: do you know why hammers really come with a warning label to wear safety glasses in case the steel chips? It's not because the users are idiots. It's because we've settled for sucky modern steel, that's why. We let all our steel today be manufactured overseas, and they ship the crap to us. The only specs indicated are shear strength for building -- and modern hammers are fucked. Global marketplace, my ass.]

...wait, why is there a plastic owl in this tool catalog? Oh, it's Harbor Freight. Suddenly, I feel as if I've been reading really dirty porn. Euw. I think I could fight Lady Macbeth for the shower right now. Maybe I'll go surf Frei & Borel right now, the Suze Randall of tool porn, that'll make me feel better.

Of course, bonus porn points if you got the reference.