Recipes for disaster, perhaps

More than one of my sweet angel friends have included me in a recipe-exchange chain letter. I have participated, because, well, hell, I'm bored in the kitchen and it's free. Cookbooks they is espensive. (However, the chain calls for forwarding to 20 of your closest friends, and famous as I am, I'm running out of multiples of 20 of my acquaintances who will put up with chain letters, so I'm gonna dump the next ones here.)

Before you make fun of my recipe, remember I went to cooking school. I know how to cook. I just don't care anymore.

( Super Stupid Pie )

I think I horrified the crap out of bronx_baroness  with my idea of "pah." You can make a hundred variations with endless choices of puddings and even cookie crusts. You can get all fancy by making the crust and filling from scratch, with real whipped cream and all, but I wouldn't waste my time. Somebody's just gonna scarf the damn thing up in less time it took to make it, and it doesn't matter what nice dishes you use, you're still gonna be the one who has to wash the fuckers at the end of the day. At least my pie takes only 20 minutes, and you can do it in your sleep if you're on Ambien.

You can see what years of being unappreciated has done to my culinary prowess. You go full-out, and they descend like vultures and you wash a mountain of dishes. You phone it in, and they descend like vultures and you wash a mountain of dishes. My version of a freaky zen koan. It doesn't help that I still can't find my pans and we don't have a working oven. It's hard to "love cooking" with no tools as well as bad ghosts. A good southern cream pie goes a long way to fixing that. Ok, yeah, I miss madeleines -- but who wants to eat those alone? Or outside of Paris? Give me my damn pie.

Thanksgiving this year is gonna be the same as last year. Smoked turkey barbecue carry-out from the place down the street, Stove Top, instant mashed potatoes, steamed microwave corn, (ok, I'm making lovely gravy--you can't take the saucier entirely out of the girl, and life's too short to eat crap-ass gravy), and vanilla-white chocolate Stupid Pah. Then we're watching Warner Brothers cartoons for the rest of the day instead of football.

I think I'm gonna make the paper plates traditional, too.